How Do I Let Anger Go?

 Dear Alexandrea,

  I am dealing with a lot of things in my life right now that are causing me to feel really upset and angry. I know that carrying this anger around doesn’t help me and I can see that it’s making me turn into a really negative and unhappy person….how can I learn to let go of the anger so I can start to show people a more positive side of me and be more Christ-like?

Being angry can be very consuming and often times we use it to protect ourselves from others. Although it may feel like it does protect us, it fails to protect us without a cost. James 1:20 tells us, “…man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” And so how can we learn to let go of the anger we feel?

1. Focus on giving your anger to God Every time you find yourself getting angry over what someone has said or done to you, PRAY! God will NEVER get annoyed by your constant prayers to Him over the same issue.

2. Remember the mercy God shows you We mess up against God, often. We constantly choose to be selfish and do what we want even though we know it’s hurtful to God and yet God forgives instantly. He forgives and blesses us even before we even ask, remember the mercy that God shows you…

3. Focus on God’s love When we focus on how deeply God loves us it causes us to desire to share that love with others and it is very difficult to share God’s love with others while holding onto anger. So ask the Lord to show you how deeply He loves you and spend time studying what the Bible has to say just about how much He loves you and why

4. Realize that your anger is hurting you I think one of the most unhelpful things we do to ourselves is believe the lie that anger does not negatively affect us and ultimately hurt us. Anger hurts us a lot more than it hurts the person we are pointing our anger towards. Often times our anger hurts us even worse than the person who has offended us but we don’t realize it and so we think that the person who has offended us is more at fault, when really it is simply your anger…James tells us that man’s anger does not produce righteousness and we need to believe him when he says that. It does not produce righteousness in you and so it causes more problems…get rid of the problems simply by choosing  to let go of the anger and giving it to God. Focus on the positives and ask God to help you learn how to express your desires in a positive way but in a way that is not filled with anger

5. Remember to do this for God When we try to do the right thing so other people can see how “awesome” we are, we are more likely to get disappointed. Often times, people won’t notice the great things you’re doing or the great changes you’re making and that’s ok. The Bible encourages us to, “work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people” (Colossians 3:23) so instead of doing the right thing and forgiving others and letting go of your anger so the other person can recognize that you’re doing the right thing-do it to please God. HE is proud of you and YOU will reap the reward for your obedience and faithfulness.

6. Study God’s love, forgiveness, and speech and pray for God to help you truly BELIEVE Him when He says that anger does not help you and ask Him to help you LIVE by His word instead.

As a side note, there is a difference between righteous anger and human anger. Righteous anger is something that comes when the Holy Spirit is offended and God will use you then to stand up for those who need you to be fair and an advocate. This type of anger is not over “petty” things and so the approach to this is different because that type of anger is when someone offends God. We will talk abou that in another post.

I do hope that this answers your question and helps you on your journey towards letting go of anger…continue to pray for God’s strength to help you and if you have a question, please email it to me at
ajwilson@tmecenter.org

With God’s Grace, Love, and Comfort….



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