For I Know The Thoughts I Have For You….

 I remember it like it was yesterday. 
I had this nasty little cold (for about two weeks) that wouldn’t seem to go away and my 27th birthday was approaching. I had plans for my big day (I love celebrating birthdays) and did not want the cold to get in the way. 

I had taken all sorts of home remedies and to no avail.I was still stuck with a possible nasty cold. 
I decided to visit the doctor to see what could be the problem. While in the waiting room all sorts of thoughts were going through my mind. I was just hoping that everything would be okay.

While waiting for the doctor the nurse came and took me in the back to check my blood pressure, weight, and gather some other information from me. During the conversation she askedwhen was the last time you had had your menstrual cycle?” As I ran this question over in my head realized that I was supposed to get a visit from ‘ms.mary the week before. I was so busy trying to figure out why I was so sick and how to get rid of what I had that I didn’t even realize I had missed my cycle. 

At that moment my heart started racing. What if I am pregnant? I hadn’t come to the doctor to do a pregnancy test. I was supposed to be seeing the doctor about getting rid of a nasty cold ugggghhhhh. 

The nurse suggested we do a pregnancy test just to make sure. I said okay, but I was sure my cycle was just a little late and the test would be negative. I just couldn’t be pregnant; not right then

While I waited for the nurse to come back I thought to myself, “what if the test is positive? I’m not ready to be a mommy no no no.” My husband and I had just moved to a new city, I was applying for grad school, we had a list of things we wanted to do that year [2011]; this just couldn’t be happening. I wanted to be a mommy someday just not today I thought to myself. At that moment the nurse returned to the room and said, “well it looks like that little bug that won’t go away is not the cold congratulations mommy you’re pregnant.” HA! 

“Can’t be! I think we need to take another test.”
 She smiled and said, “this test is 99% accurate you’re going to be a mommy.”

I left the office and sat in my car for almost an hour crying and laughing at the same time. Crying out to God and laughing at his sense of humor.  I had made all these plans for the future and not once did I ask Him if this was what He wanted me to do with my life.

No job, a new city, and a baby on the way. God said, “Nashanda I’m going to teach you to trust me and let me direct your path because I know what’s best for you.”

  So my journey to motherhood began and it has been the most rewarding experience ever. Something I thought I was so unprepared for couldn’t have happened at a better time. This little bundle of joy has changed my life in so many ways. And I’m beginning to see why God gave this precious gift to me when He did. In His time.

For I know the thoughts I have for you Nashanda, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a bright future. If only you would trust me with all your heart and not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge me Nashanda and I will direct your path. Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5,6

 Nashanda Clarke born on the beautiful island of The Bahamas. Born in the fabulous month of May. Married to my college boo. Proud mother of a beautiful baby boy. Loves to laugh, eat, travel, shop, learn new things, spend time with my family, and watch sunsets on the beach. Learning to trust God will ALL of my heart and live each day to the fullest. 🙂


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